Hi.

(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY) This is me.

This is...

This is my camera.

This is detox.

Um, I'm two weeks in, and I've got... Just got the one week, one week to go.

I've lost quite a lot of weight already.

I'm feeling a little, you know, spaced, a little spaced.

But I've got a little thinner.

Have a look at this.

Have a look at this.

Look at body, body, body.

Yeah, body a bit thinner.

(SIGHS) Um...

But I'm gonna show you the before, the before, so you can see the before, what I was like before.

Hang on.

Here we go.

(TAPE REWINDING) Here's my before... -- I don't think I've ever seen down there before.

I can see underneath my --, my --.

Oh, yeah.

Have a look and see what that looks like.

This is better.

I didn't like that last day one.

This is...

This, right...

This is day one.

This is where it'll start.

(INHALING AND EXHALING) This is better.

Day one.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) I've been keeping a diary of my progress, so we'll see how it goes.

And it all started the night before the day you've just seen day one.

On a girls' night out.

Which is every night, frankly, 'cause no one's ever got a man.

I mean, look at these, look at these men in here.

Look at these...

Some of these are successful men, and look at the women they choose.

-Carers.

-Hostesses, not wives.

Darlings, a successful man, and let's face it, they're the only attractive ones, does not want a successful wife.

Not a matter of want.

Even a successful woman needs a wife.

Someone to be there for them.

-Look at these.

-Trophy wives.

Edina: "Trophy wives."

They're women who just filter the world for them as though it's a sort of complete mystery.

The ones that choose the tie and hide things around the house so that only they know where they are, darling.

-(LAUGHING) I've done that.

-Bloody hell.

You know the ones I hate?

The ones at parties.

You know you go to a party, you wanna meet the man, no, no.

She's gotta come and speak to you first and take you over to him.

"Oh, come and meet him.

He adores you."

You know.

That sounds like some very good friends of mine.

It makes a man feel cherished.

Cherished?

(MUFFLED CHATTER) They're just manipulating the world, so it's a complete bloody mystery to him.

-Patsy: Hmm.

-You know?

And she's the only one person who will ever understand this extraordinarily complicated menu that she has written.

(GIGGLES) And then before you know it, they're all film producers.

Darling, it's no mystery.

Come on, Eddy, tuck in.

Come on, sweetheart.

It's no mystery.

Two winners don't get on.

It just doesn't work.

I mean, it's the same in all relationships.

If you put two racehorses in the stable together, they'll kick the... out of each other.

-Tom and Nicole.

Bruce and Demi.

-Patsy: Yeah.

-Mm-hmm.

-Liam and Noel.

Disaster.

What a racehorse wants is a, is a donkey.

A little donkey, a goat, a little companion.

I need a slash.

It's the same in all relationships.

Edina: You see this little glib phrase that Patsy says like that, but you see... (PANTING) ... why didn't I feel good enough about myself to think that I could be the racehorse?

I think I'm the donkey.

I don't want to be the donkey.

I don't wanna be the fat donkey.

I wanna be the racehorse.

I suppose it's not beyond the realms of possibility for two donkeys to get on.

I think you're horrid because... if you perceive others as failures, it makes you feel better about yourself.

-Well done.

-Nonsense.

That's just your magazine speak.

No, no, no.

I wrote about it in an article.

In a magazine.

You have no idea of the pressures I've been under.

Hmm.

-You dance like an angel... -Oh!

...on the pinhead of success for so long, and the moment you're out of the spotlight for a micro second they cut you down.

But I think you'll find I was always very generous in my professional life.

(IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE) You ask people who worked with me.

(SCREAMING) (PEPPY MUSIC PLAYING) Dawn French.

I'm gonna have your guts for garters.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING) Horrible.

Well, everyone has their crutches.

Security blankets.

Being mean is yours.

I've got one of those by my cooker.

-No, no.

That's a fire blanket.

-Oh, right.

-Toss.

-Exactly.

I mean, not everybody has them.

I haven't got one.

(BOTH LAUGHING) Patsy: Oh, don't worry, Eddy.

What are you talking about?

What?

What?

You're fat.

Fat!

Surely you can see that.

We certainly can't miss it.

(LAUGHING) Now, what's yours, Patsy?

Well, it's obvious.

-What?

What?

-It's your fringe.

Oh!

The '60s forelock.

Push it back.

Let's see what you look like under there.

-Come on, Eddy.

-No, no, no.

Don't touch me.

-Patsy: No.

No.

Please.

-Come on.

Edina: For heaven's sake, Patsy.

(GASPS) No!

Edina: You know these things can't be taken too quickly.

At least you can pin your fringe back, whereas you can't pin your fat back.

(LAUGHING) You are mean.

Edina: Epiphany.

You see that was the kick start.

I wanted to fit in those stalls with the racehorses.

So I decided to reinvent myself, restyle myself, alright?

The new svelte, tanned, smooth, luggageless me.

(SIGHS) I mean, there was something about it, I don't know what it was.

There was just something about that word.

-Detox.

-Yes, I want to detox.

-It's just another fad.

-I agree.

Katy: No one diets anymore.

You're not fat, you're just full of toxins.

I hear you there.

Just full of poison.

Well, that's not news.

-Now look, this is my book.

-Edina: Mm-hmm.

I can work upside down.

Plenty of practice with Blue Peter.

Now, it's basically just eat meat and drink water until you need a B12.

-(EXCLAIMS) Drink water.

-So no more booze.

Katy: What are you going to do about exercise?

Well, no one's going to the gym anymore, so I want to do the one that, you know... What's that one... (FARTS) Ooh.

-Boot camp.

-Yes.

Military fitness.

-Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

-Military fitness.

Mum, this is madness.

Darling, this is my life.

In three weeks time, I wanna be on the cusp of organ failure.

Good for you.

I want my body just to be... Just to be a relief map of veins.

I wanna be an X-ray with a pulse.

Even your cells can't eat that fast.

Oh, Eddy, we hate these women.

Do we?

Yeah, you don't wanna be one of those, as though you've shoved your... into a pencil sharpener.

It's alright for you.

You don't understand.

-You've always looked like that.

-Oh, Eddy.

And you're probably like me, aren't you, Patsy?

I mean, sometimes I just forget to eat.

Patsy hasn't eaten since 1974.

Well, there was that, that crisp.

Oh, yes, the crisp.

Poor old Patsy.

-She couldn't keep anything down.

-Patsy: Yeah.

She lost most of her back teeth to stomach acid.

At least I didn't drink my own piddle.

That was a very mean trick.

(GASPS) I hope that was my piddle, was it?

I know you're right.

I've done every diet.

I've done the hay diet, the cabbage diet.

I've done the blood group diet, you know, where you have to eat the food that your ancestors would have gathered.

My ancestors were whale gatherers.

Thanks to you.

(MOUTHS) No.

-I've done combining... -Combining food with alcohol.

Yes... (MUTTERS MOCKINGLY) Three good meals a day is what you should stick to.

(MOCKINGLY) "Three good meals a day."

And then they had sex.

There, that's a good scene for you.

Eddy, you know, your stomach's like a dog that doesn't know when it's gonna be fed next, so it just hangs around until you wanna kick it.

(LAUGHS) Edina: That is it.

No, that is it.

I am gonna do this.

I am going to get thin.

Witness.

Witness.

Witness.

Witness.

-Come on, come on, come on.

-Katy: Go, Eddy.

-Come on.

Come on.

Come on, let's go.

-Katy: Come on!

Trainer: Alright.

Three more of these.

-Three more of these.

Come on.

-(SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) Here we go.

Three more of these.

Up in the air.

Squat thrust, star jump.

Come on!

Squat thrust, star jump.

Trainer: Come on.

That's it.

Move it.

-Come on, come on, come on, come on.

-You're not moving.

-Alright, come on, faster.

-Come on!

Come on, Eddy!

Come on, you'll never get there.

I've got snot all over my face.

Katy: You will never get there -if you don't do it.

-I can't do it!

-I can't do it!

-Katy: Come on.

Stop it.

Stop talking.

Just do it.

Trainer: Up you come.

Well done.

Down you go.

Good stuff.

-Man: Come on, let's move on.

-Good one.

-Coming around.

-Trainer: Down you go.

Hand on the bar, chest to the bar, -and down and up... -(KATY CHUCKLES) -Trainer: And down and up.

-Katy: It's enormous.

Trainer: One more.

Come on, down you go.

Come on, one more.

Up.

Up.

Okay.

Concentrate.

Concentrate.

Katy: Yeah, come on.

Third time lucky.

Oh.

-(KATY CHUCKLES) -Trainer: Come on, get up.

Oh, come on.

Well done.

Let's do it again.

One... -Eddy.

-Oh... Don't!

Cheers, darling.

Don't!

(GRUNTS) Don't want it.

Don't want it.

Don't want it.

Don't want it.

I don't want it.

I don't want it.

Don't want it.

Good for you, Mum.

You've changed your tune, darling.

Anyway, I wanna to be thin.

I'm gonna be thin.

I'm gonna do thin things, you know.

I wanna be sort of Geri bendy.

I just sort of be hip hanging, you know.

I'd just once, like to take my clothes off and not be marked by them.

I never thought it worried you.

Oh, yeah, 90% of awake time and 100% of sleep time, darling, I worry about it.

Patsy: Oh, Eddy, you look fine.

I mean, you dress like... -A fat billboard.

-I know what I look like.

Is that the reason you wear labels, so the designer takes the blame?

Oh.

(VOCALIZES) Didn't take a genius to figure that one out, darling, did it?

DKNY bosoms.

Not mine.

Dolce and Gabbana fat thighs.

Not mine.

Oh, Eddy, this is no fun.

I know it's no fun, darling, but it's dieting.

I have to diet.

Must think about dieting.

What are you eating?

What are you doing today, anyway, darling, while I'm dieting?

Well, um, I met an old school friend, so he's coming 'round later.

-Hmm.

-I met him at the Royal Court, 'cause I finished my play-- -Ooh.

-Oh?

They might be doing it as a workshop in the studio.

Both: Ooh!Ooh!

Well, listen, if he's at all good-looking, have sex with him.

'Cause I'm worried your business is gonna heal over.

-Hello.

-Hey, how are you?

Fantastic.

Wow.

Like it.

(CLEARS THROAT) I cannot believe...

I cannot believe that we met like that.

-It was just... Whoa.

-Oh.

I knew it was you immediately.

-You haven't changed at all.

-Neither have you.

Oh.

(CHUCKLES) Wow.

-Very nice.

-Yeah.

So, uh, what-what side of the business did you say you were on again?

You... Oh, um, I'm a, I'm a writer.

Well, I wrote something for the Edinburgh... -Mind if I... -Yeah, please.

...last year and, um, well, the Royal Court are really interested, so they kinda want to workshop it.

Well, it-it's a piece about, kind of, social struggle and sort of... -Sorry.

You are a writer, so... -Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm an actor.

Ha.

Bear me in mind.

(BOTH LAUGH) -Great.

-So, what are you working on at the moment?

Yeah... Did...

Were we in the same class at school?

Because I thought... -Same year, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, yeah.

You're the one who had to sit next to me in Maths.

(CHUCKLES) Hey, Maths.

Love it, yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

Goodness.

Anyway, what, what did you say you did, again?

Oh, pfft, yeah.

Well, you know, my, uh, agent's being very protective at the moment, not really letting me take stuff in case it interferes with the, with thebig plan, so... -Oh.

-(SCOFFS) -Which is?

-Oh, you know.

-Uh, movies, LA, whatever.

-Saffy: Oh.

Edina: Meanwhile, Patsy was experimenting with the possibility of hairstyle variety.

Great.

Are those for me?

Thanks.

-You look nice.

-Patsy: What?

What?

I don't know how they get people to go to these parties.

(SNIFFS) It's cocaine.

Lines inside means lines outside.

Donatella is a genius.

(SNIFFS) Six.

Possibly eight.

And I said, I said, "What's that sound?"

And he said, "That, Taylor, is the sound of doors opening."

And, you know, I've been, practically, uh... knee-deep in scripts ever since, so...

But you are so, you're so right.

-Yeah, relationships suffer.

-Saffy: Hmm.

Right, you must know.

You're a writer.

You know, two-way traffic.

-Have you got a girlfriend?

-Taylor: Whoa.

Ex-girlfriend, yeah.

Uh... Singer-dancer, Shelagh Kidron?

No?

Starlight Express?

No.

-Are they?

You?

Yeah?

-No, I don't.

-May I?

-Oh, yes.

Please.

-Thank you.

-Yeah, sorry.

(BOTH LAUGH) Hmm.

Anyway, just, uh... -Couple for later.

-Oh.

Cheers.

(SIGHS) Racehorse and donkey.

So, this is the thing.

It's a glib phrase, but racehorse and donkey.

Racehorse and donkey.

Once you've figured it out, the world makes sense.

Candy: Yes, I know.

I'm telling you now, he's an absolute stud.

-Candy: Bye.

-Candy.

Darling.

How are you doing?

-Fine.

You?

-Very good.

The Daily Express has got some pics of that pool boy sucking my... in Saint Lucia.

-Winston?

-Oh, yeah.

Oh, lovely.

Darling, do you wanna... Do you wanna have lunch or something?

I can't.

I'm meeting an old school friend.

Patsy: Oh.

-Minge!

-Candy!

Oh, darling, don't worry.

I've got it covered.

Take him.

He smells of poo.

Come to Auntie Minge, sweetie.

Yeah.

And the, uh, the snail had his own trailer, so... (YAWNS) What snail?

The snail had his own trailer, yeah.

In the Doc.

The, uh, Doctor.

Doctor Who?

No, no.

No, Doolittle.

-Dr. Doolittle.

-Saffy: Oh.

When... When-when I... I-I toured in it, yeah?

Oh, some terrific numbers in that, really.

Did you see it?

-Uh, well, no.

-Oh.

Terrific, really.

Put me on the map, yeah.

♪ Talk to the animals... ♪ Show stopper.

(CHUCKLES) Stopped the show.

Well, if you don't count the snail, obviously there were some big rounds for the snail, but, uh... Got giant snail, so, you know, big, uh... Big bastard.

But a lot of the, um...

But the animals, lovely and beautifully crafted animatronics.

Um, look, Taylor.

I'm sorry, the time...

I've got to write and... Whoa.

Absolutely.

Yep.

Yep, I'm with you.

Let's, uh, let's make like sheep and get the flock outta here.

10:09, yeah.

Could I just very quickly borrow your phone?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Um, to call a cab?

No, actually, I just want to ring LA.

Going to LA next week, and I just want to page myself in a restaurant, um... Get on the wire before I'm out there.

That kinda thing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Well done.

Battery's gone.

I'm off.

-I've got dinner with Carol Vorderman.

-What?

-You did really brilliant today.

-Yeah.

Night-night, darling.

(GROANING) I will do it.

(PATSY SIGHS) -Oh, Eddy.

Eddy.

-Edina: Oh, honey.

Patsy: Darling.

Eddy, you need a drink, darling.

-I don't need a drink.

-Are you alright?

Yeah, I'm alright, sweetheart.

How are you... (GASPS) -How are you doing with this?

-I'm doing alright.

I'm doing alright.

But, Eddy, what's the point of this?

-Let's go and have some fun.

-(GRUNTING) I've got to do it.

Oh, darling.

Just one little drink downstairs.

No, darling.

You go ahead.

You go ahead.

Edina and Patsy: Ooh.

Ooh.

It was very nice meeting you again.

Yeah, absolutely great, and, uh, you know, bear me in mind with the writing.

So... Oh, I say.

I say, do you, do you care to share a cab with me somewhere?

Hey.

Absolutely not.

-Sweetheart?

-Edina: Pats?

(WHINING) I must eat.

I must eat.

I want to eat something.

(WHIMPERING) Eat... something.

(CHOMPING NOISILY) Stay calm.

Just calm.

Just relax.

Just stay.

(PANTING) Think about your hip bone.

Think about your hip... (GASPS) There's a hip bone.

Where's my hip bone gone?

It was here.

It was here.

It was... My hip bone.

(SIGHS) God... You gave me epiphany and now you have forsaken me.

God: ♪ The morning sun touched lightly ♪ ♪ On the eyes of Lucy Jordan ♪ ♪ In a white suburban bedroom ♪ ♪ In a white suburban town ♪ ♪ As she lay there 'neath the covers ♪ ♪ Dreaming of a thousand lovers ♪ ♪ Till the world turned to orange ♪ ♪ And the room went spinning 'round ♪ ♪ At the age of 47 ♪ ♪ She realized she'd never ♪ ♪ Ride through Paris ♪ ♪ In a sports car ♪ ♪ With the warm wind in her hair ♪ ♪ So she let the phone keep ringing ♪ ♪ As she sat there softly singing ♪ ♪ Pretty nursery rhymes she'd memorized ♪ ♪ In her daddy's easy chair ♪ I must say, you're doing rather well, darling.

I never thought you had it in you.

I'm singing this for you because I know you like it.

(EVIL LAUGHTER) Hee-haw.

Of course.

You started that.

Oh, Patsy's one of mine.

What are you doing here, anyway?

This one's with me.

Did you suggest this diet?

It's not a diet.

It's a detox.

Why do you keep coming up with these things?

It plays on their vanity and I gave them that.

No.

You gave them self-hatred.

Oh, whatever.

They love a diet.

In the world of self-loathing, the Barbie doll reigns supreme.

Oh, don't get heavy.

It's a shallow world now.

I know.

Nothing can develop anymore.

They just want freshly-popped fetus bodies and sex doll faces.

I mean, look at the art... Oh, do stop.

This is a world where Carol Vorderman is a sex symbol and Saint-Tropez is a bottle of fake tan.

I love it.

They won't have any use for you and me soon.

Oh, frankly, I'm bored, anyway.

What's the point of me if I'm acceptable?

In China, they're putting girl babies in dustbins as a matter of routine.

Now who's getting heavy?

It's so not 2001.

I just wish everybody could love each other.

That was such an attractive idea.

Hmm.

Fancy a drink or something?

Have you ever cut your fringe?

No.

You?

Devil: I will if you will.

-God: No.

I will if you will.

-Devil: No.

Oh, sweetheart.

(GROANING) (GROANS) Sweetheart.

(GROANS) Oh, darling, I need foo-o-od.

Foo-o-od, sweetheart.

Oh, darling, you know, I nearly died last night, darling.

In fact, I, I think I'm pretty close to death now, sweetheart.

-Mum, you're not.

-Well, how do you know?

Because I'm looking at you, and you look fine.

Look fine.

I know what that means.

That means I still look fat.

You have lost a lot of weight.

Not that that's important.

I know I've lost a lot of weight, but not enough!

I want to eat.

I wanna eat.

I knew this would never work.

It is working.

Stop being a victim and take control.

I'm a fat person, that's the end of it.

Me!

The woman who got stuck on an eating loop in Yo!

Sushi.

I mean, honestly, sweetheart, if they keep it coming round, of course I'm gonna eat it, aren't I?

I'll get you something.

I don't want something.

God, this is such hard work.

How does Geri bloody Halliwell do it, eh?

How does she do that?

'Cause this isn't lovely, lovely fun, jumpy, lovely, lovely day, lots of energy, fun.

This is horrible, painful, funless grind.

Welcome to my world.

Not my world.

(PANTING) I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna get a body double for life, darling.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Then I can eat what I want.

I mean, they do it in the movies, don't they, sweetie?

You can be the star of the film and someone else does all the body bits.

That's what I want.

(SHIVERING) I'm going...

I'm going to the fridge.

Don't stop me, darling.

Don't stop me.

'Cause I'm going to the fridge, sweetheart.

Fine.

I'm not going to stop you.

This is what you always do.

Everyone else takes over, takes responsibility.

Well, I won't.

You do it and you face the consequences.

To be honest, fat or thin, you are a nightmare of selfishness!

Oh.

Mum.

Mum, you just opened the fridge without heaving your whole body.

Oh.

(MUFFLED CHATTER) (YELLS) Oh!

-Here, look, look, look.

-What?

-Help Mama.

Help Mama.

Help Mama.

Help Mama.

-What?

-What?

-There's a lump.

-Where?

-A lump here.

Feel that.

What is that?

(SCREAMS) What is that?

What is that?

Mum, it's a muscle.

That?

That's a muscle?

I've got a muscle?

Sweetie, I've got a muscle.

Ring Katy Grin, tell her I've got a muscle.

Darling, ring Pats Stone and tell her I've got a muscle.

Sweetheart, I've got a muscle.

Have I got another... No, no.

Look, feel that.

I've got a muscle.

Feel it, darling.

Feel it.

Feel it.

Don't push it away.

Don't push it away.

Just feel it.

Ring 'em up.

Tell 'em I've got a muscle.

I've got a muscle.

-Katy: You can do it.

-I can do it.

(KATY CHEERING INDISTINCTLY) Upper arms.

Upper arms.

Punch, punch, punch.

Katy: To me.

Punch.

Great.

Great.

That was fantastic.

Think of Planet Thin.

Planet Thin.

That's it.

That's it.

(EXHALES) So here I am... (SUCKS TEETH) ...minus a stone of toxin.

Feeling pretty good.

(CHUCKLES) Sniffing the old O2 and ingesting the wheat germ, and about to be tanned, pummeled and scrubbed, and I shall be ready to go.

(HUMMING) Sweetheart?

(CONTINUES HUMMING) Oo-oo-ooh!

(CONTINUES HUMMING) (SCATTING) -What do you think?

-Well... Is that dress new?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you like it?

-It-it-it's gorgeous.

-Yeah?

It's just that it's... What?

What?

What?

Well, it's still too small.

(SCOFFS) Well, that's because I'm gonna get thinner.

I'm gonna get thinner than this.

Well, sweetheart.

Darling, can I ask you something?

Will you stop doing that, darling, and listen to me?

Sweetheart, can I ask you something?

-Do you think attention can become addictive?

-(SIGHS IN DISGUST) I wouldn't want that to happen to me.

(GRUNTS) I wouldn't want that to happen to me, darling.

I wouldn't want that.

Also, sweetheart, darling, darling.

Mummy's worried about you because I don't want you to worry when they start saying she's too thin.

Alright?

I don't want you worry about that.

Because it is inevitable.

Now, film Mama leaving.

-Mum, please.

-Darling, film me leaving.

-I'm really busy.

-Will you stop being so selfish and film me leaving?

Come on, darling.

Come on.

Come on, darling.

Am I... Am I in shot?

Yes, you're filling the screen.

Edina: Oh.

Well, zoom out, zoom out.

Here I come.

Here I come.

Ready?

Ready?

♪ Here she comes ♪ ♪ The most beautiful girl in the world ♪ Pah.

♪ She's the right one... ♪ Follow me, follow me.

♪ She's the bright one ♪ ♪ That's Edini ♪ (GRUNTS) Hi.

(GIGGLES) -Ta-da.

-Patsy: Oh, Eddy.

(LAUGHING) Edina: ♪ Ooh, laa ♪ I think I can just squeeze in here.

No, I can't.

Can you just shift it slightly?

That's it.

That's it.

Just... (SIGHS DEEPLY) -Oh, well done!

-Thank you.

There, I've said it.

Personal detox complete.

-Cheers, cheers, cheers.

-Patsy: Well done, Eddy.

Cheers, cheers.

-Did you lose weight?

-Oh?

Oh, yeah.

This is my first drink, actually.

-And what's your secret?

-Edina: Hmm?

Well, the thing I think is the-- No, not now, Eddy, not now.

Well done and all that, but now you've just gotta get on with your life.

-I agree.

-You can't make it your life.

Mm-mmm.

Absolutely.

You know, slimming is just...

It's overrated.

All those reinvented ones.

They get thin, they get PR, they dump their husband, and then someday they're found all alone with their bones sticking through their cardigans.

Why this body obsession?

I mean, when did we get like this?

It's sex.

Sex.

-Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!

-But why?

Would, would the word "orifice" help at this point in the conversation?

Look, everyone wants to get screwed.

There's no mystery.

Well, the old ones should wear more clothes, then.

Yeah.

Or get --, just get out of it, then you don't look at what you're tupping.

(ALL LAUGHING) This is so Sex and the City, isn't it?

I hate that show.

-Which one am I?

-The nice one.

-I'm Sarah Jessica Parker.

-(KATY SQUEALS) (ALL LAUGHING) What?

You're still too fat.

(CLOSING THEME PLAYING) (SIGHS) Still, it doesn't really matter, does it, darling?

'Cause, you know, fat or thin, you still love me, don't ya?

Darling?

Saff?

Saff?

Saff?

Biscuits to dunk.

Biscuits to... (THEME MUSIC CONTINUES)